I’m not talking about pimping him out in that way, just in case that’s what you were thinking. But I do want to make use of his talents to provide you with something cool.
Here’s the story. For many years, I was unable to work outside the home due to disabilities. Writing, editing, and setting up websites generated some money, but sporadically. The last few years, my health has been improving steadily, and in August 2014, I took a job in a daycare, knowing that we would lose the SNAP benefits and state-paid medical coverage we had. I took the job knowing that because it’s the right thing to do. Depending on the government, if it’s at all possible not to, is just not cool.
So I’ve been working three jobs, basically, doing the writing, editing, and other client work from 4 am to 6 am, then again from 4 pm to 8 pm while teaching my own children, and working a full shift at the daycare center in between. I’ve been hoping and praying for HarshmanServices to take off a bit more so we’ll get through “the trough” where a household makes too much money to get food stamps, but not enough money to buy food.
In that trough, there is no wiggle room, no space at all for anything to go wrong. But, as you know, things go wrong.
This morning, the minivan broke down on the interstate as my husband was driving home from his night-shift job. Enter big, fat problem. He now has no way to get to work tonight, and if he can’t get there, he will have no job. I can keep walking to mine, through the rain and snow, as I have been doing all along, but his job is 15 miles away and that’s not an option. We need to raise several hundred dollars in just a few days.
So here’s my thought: What if I pimp out his vocal and acting abilities? You can have him record something for you—anything you want, as long as it’s legal. PayPal us $5 and tell us what you want done, and it’s yours. You can use it for your outgoing voicemail message, ring tones, audio for your website, a unique gift for someone you love, or even pranks. Why not order a voicemail or a live phone call “from Santa” for your children? It’s the perfect time of year for that one!
Here are some of the different “sounds” you can choose from:
- Treebeard the Ent (LOTR)
- Maxwell Smart
- Pat Buttram
- Ludo ( from Labyrinth)
- Pete Puma
- Kermit the Frog
- Cheech Marin
- British English, Cockney, Irish, Scottish, or Australian accent
- Santa Claus
Here’s a chance to do something you can feel really good about (helping a family that’s working their tails off to get through the trough) and have a ton of fun with at the same time. Get your unique gift. Please share this with all of your friends and acquaintances, and we’ll keep you updated on your progress. Merry Christmas!
Update: The first $100 has been raised. Someone smart took us up on the offer and Alan will be recording some scripture in an accent. Who’s next to get what they want?
2nd update: The Three Billy Goats Gruff (complete with goaty voices) has been recorded and delivered, too. We’re building a new website to put audio files up for sale. Audio File Store will be live in January 2015.